"[Marriage] is rather like two bankrupt businessmen depending on each other for the capital to begin a new partnership."
On page 35 of The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb, the above somewhat startling statement is made. This idea was the central theme of our pre-martial counseling with the pastor we had hoped would unite us in marriage at our wedding. We enjoyed our sessions with him on Thursday nights in late summer last year. And we discovered much truth in that key statement. Particularly if God is not truly at the center of the marriage.
The sessions matched up to chapters in the book that both Chris and I read each week before meeting with Pastor Sean. Throughout our sessions, we discovered that we should look to God to meet our needs rather than our partner. One can find themselves overwhelmingly disappointed when they look to another human being to meet all their needs and be their sole source of happiness. We all want to feel secure and significant in the confines of our relationship, but ultimately we must turn to God. While Christ satisfies our needs, we must also turn to one another to fulfill God's purpose for us in one another's life. According to the book, marriage requires giving your best to the partner you chose while relying on Christ to continually meet your needs.
We also discussed other topics that were more loosely tied to the remaining chapters in the book. Talking openly about conflict resolution, assertiveness, and finances proved useful in our everyday lives even though the conversations were structured around the relationship of marriage. Pastor Sean also provided us with some helpful questions to consider as we moved closer to the day we'd say "I do".
|We put together a thank you gift bag for Pastor Sean. He loves Cherry Garcia!|
Unfortunately, it didn't work out in the end for Pastor Sean to officiate our ceremony, but we were so happy that he was able to facilitate our pre-martial counseling sessions even though he wasn't able to make the trip to Kentucky for our wedding. We enjoyed our time with him as we grew together and more fully discovered the importance of committing to a biblical approach to the union of marriage.